Lusaka Letter #1: Welcome to the first Lusaka Letter

Hi dear LL readers!

Thank you for finding your way here. Finally, it is time for the first Lusaka Letter. I am back in Lusaka, Zambia, after spending around two months in Sweden working as a nurse in the hospital. I worked only for the summer, just the way I used to do when I was a student. Alone in my parent´s apartment, only myself to think about. And work. Now I am back with my family in our home in Lusaka and I couldn’t be happier.

The summer in Sweden is on its end, summer here is just about to begin. It is getting warmer every day and until November it will just continue getting hotter and hotter. September is one of my favourite months here, it is not too hot yet, and the jacaranda tree is blooming. It has these strong purple flowers that brightens up the nature.

It has not rained since early May and the trees and grass is brown and grey. The jacaranda blows my mind everyday with its beauty, and the strength of showing up every September from the dry and hot surroundings. It is dependable. Spending some time away from Zambia that is one of the things that hits me. The beauty of the nature here. It does every time I leave and come back.

The sun creates amazing sunsets every day. It is all from pink to purple to orange. As the Jacaranda flowers sprung up every September, reliable, the sun gets up every day and warms us, and then exits in an amazing explosion of colours.

I forget it. Just two months away and my Swedish bones forgets that somewhere in the world the sun shines every day and is more reliable than that school starts after summer break. I crave the consistency of the sun, but I forget it as soon as I am back here. It’s the one thing I don’t have to worry about this side, the sun. In Sweden it is a constant worry, weather is a constant worry. Just this obsession about weather conditions is inbuilt in my Swedish bones (I just started this letter with 300 words about weather, so yeah, we are more or less obsessed about the weather, just because we can not trust it, ever).

I think a lot about this of having two countries. Two places to be home in, two places to belong. For me that has been very easy. People in Sweden often ask me how I have been welcomed in Zambia, how I fit in. The truth is that Zambians and Zambia has always made me feel like I belong. Even before I married my husband (who is Zambian) this felt like home to me.

People here are kind, welcoming and used to different cultures and ways of living life, so me coming from outside has never been a problem, more like something people are curious about. This time being in Sweden after having moved here to Zambia last year, I again felt like I belonged in Sweden. It is not strange really, it is where I was born and grew up, but also, Zambia and Sweden are so different. Like above, the weather is like night and day, and culturally there is also very big differences between the countries. My husband does not feel as welcomed in Sweden as  I do here.

Even though my closest family and friends are welcoming and nice, most of the society are less welcoming and more questioning. They don’t see him belonging, even after being married to me. This is one of the biggest reasons why we moved, he felt less like a human being living there. My thoughts about it now, when I am planning to go more in between the two, is that it is so different to be in any of the places so even I feel different depending on in which country I am.

I travel there in person, my flesh sits in the plane and is transported thousands of miles, while a small part of me feels a little bit left behind every time. It takes time to catch up. And depending on how long I have spent in each country before the travelling, the time to reinstate that piece inside me differs. I feel lost for some time. Confused and a little bit empty.

Summer Stockholm
I have learned to handle this. With time. First time I flew back from Lusaka to Stockholm was in 2006 and I remember having a bit of a shock on my return. Nothing felt at place, I felt misplaced. The more I travel in between, the more I know how to handle that feeling. I let my self feel it and nowadays I know and remember that the feeling is just temporary. They come; they go. They give, sometimes it feels like they take. Anyhow, I do it better now.

I adapt, and I move on. Writing this even makes it easier, and sometimes that’s exactly what writing does for me. It helps me work through emotions and feelings and in the end, I know what to do, or sometimes the feeling has passed.

So, I will be writing. Continuously. And the Lusaka Letters are a part of that. Studying creative writing is another piece, and I will probably come back to that in letters in the future.

I am happy you are reading this and want to follow along on my creative journey. Feel free to comment, ask questions, give feedback. I have learnt that feedback is the best way to evolve my writing and i really appreciate if you took your time. And if you enjoy this and want to read more, subscribe and keep coming back. I will be putting more content later that only can be read by paid subscribers.

With love, Jenny

Me living writer life at the airport in Addis Abeba